You Have More Influence Than You Think by Vanessa Bohns

And chill as every parent will tell you, overreactions just make things worse… State what you think that alone may help. To further your influence, try to connect with people. This may be explained by an extreme human difficulty in saying “no.” Research shows that even if something is illegal or uncomfortable and a person clearly doesn’t want to say “yes,” many will, to avoid saying “no.” This, says Bohn, is why understanding the ask is essential, and dating and mating can be irritating add perceived power to the mix, and an issue becomes less influential and more wrong.

Students sent out to borrow cell phones from strangers were successful more than not one experiment proved that people will commit minor vandalism, if they’re asked.

So, you have influence without even trying, but how do you create the biggest impact? Here’s another surprise: studies show that sometimes, all you have to do is ask. When we think about how much influence we have, the first mistake we make is underestimating how much other people pay attention to us.” “But that means other people are also attuned to us and exhibit the same behaviors to us.

“We are instinctively attuned to other people-we notice them, remember them, wonder what is going on in their minds, tune our thoughts and messages to them, and copy their behavior,” Bohn notes. If you want attention, “you already have it” because we humans are “wired to notice… people,” and people who are noticed are often followed. You just have to be noticed, and you won’t need to “wave your hands around and shout” for that to happen. You’d be surprised at how easy it is to be influential, says social psychologist Bohns. It literally takes two seconds to say that, but watch what happens when you say it to a stranger: they stand a little taller, happily flustered that someone approves they feel good, and boom, you’ve just influenced someone to smile. Then know that this is not the way to persuade anyone to do anything in fact, it’ll backfire and in You Have More Influence Than You Think by Vanessa Bohns, you’ll learn what will work to gently change someone’s mind. There’s something you need to know, eyes forward and listen, keep an open mind and a shut mouth, and pay attention. Her writing has appeared in the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, Harvard Business Review, and her research has been featured by the Wall Street Journal, New York Times, Economist and NPR’s Hidden Brain. She holds a PhD in psychology from Columbia University and an AB in psychology from Brown University. Vanessa Bohns is a social psychologist and professor of organizational behavior at Cornell University.